"If you die you're completely happy and your soul somewhere lives on. I'm not afraid of dying. Total peace after death, becoming someone else is the best hope I've got."
Happy 48th Birthday, Kurt, you were an asshole, but damn, were you one clever asshole. We could blame the drugs, but you probably would have passed away anyway due to your illness. From what I gathered througout the years, I would have shared so many of your views when it came to life, but, from the bottom of my heart, I feel like you wanted to live so badly, life itself killed you. You were so desperate to feel alive, you ended up dead. You wanted to have the most interesting life anyone had ever lived, to the point where you admittedly made up some parts of your it. You were a selfish bastard, refusing to work for your own bread, and yet, somehow, you managed to make it all work out. You loved being a victim, an outcast, and you also loved to complain about everything and anything, but never did anything about whatever was bothering you so much.
You never let yourself admit to like anything at all, just wishing to be as uncool as you could be, to the point where you could not even compliment your own music, the one you'd composed yourself. In all honesty, I blame you for all those music snobs who believe hating everything and everyone is the way to go. You were a hypocrite, but we forgive you, for you seemed to have a very troubled mind, and even though I believe you did do a shit tone of things wrong, you also did speak some truth every once in a while. You were not afraid to be yourself, and taught a lot of people to do the same.
One of my favourte Kurt Cobain quotes is "Punk is musical freedom. It's saying, doing and playing what you want. In Webster's terms, 'nirvana' means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world, and that's pretty close to my definition of Punk Rock."
To me, "punk", is more than a music genre, it's a lifestyle. Not caring about what anyone thinks or says about you, being faithful to your beliefs and ideals, that's what punk is all about, and that's where Kurt and I would have agreed. Whether you enjoy bubblegum pop music or screamo, as long as you're true to yourself, you're being punk. That can also be applied to fashion and a whole lifestyle; it's all about being free.
Kurt Cobain, you were such an interesting soul. I hope you did get to become someone else after your death, and I hope you got to live the life you always wished you had lived, but I also wish I would have had the pleasure to meet you, there are so many things I would have loved to discuss with you.
I hope you're having a good day, wherever you may be.
Much love,
Vanessa xx
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