This morning I woke up and decided to erase all trace of twelve year old me off the internet when I stumbled upon this blog and remembered 1) how much I loved writing it and 2) that one New Year resolution I made approximately 11 months ago, promising myself I would keep documenting my life on an at least weekly basis. Needless to say, that never happened, but because I enjoyed it so much, I thought, hey, why not give it another go?
Because I feel like I am a whole new person since I last wrote an entry, I shall pretend this is my very first post and go ahead and introduce myself:
Hello, my name is Vanessa, and I am one of the thousands of Spaniards living in London. I work looking after children and I love music, films and fashion very much. In my opinion autumn is the best season of the year and dogs my favourite thing in the world. This is pretty much all you need to know.
I am pretty sure the reason I ever stopped updating this is because heartbreak was making me sappy so most of my posts started to become drafts. Good news is I realised what I thought was heartbreak wasn't even that deep and got over it real quick, I just never thought of going back to Blogger, so I AM SORRY.

Truth is I'm not entirely sure what this entry was meant to be about when I started it but I do remember I used to have a music tag and I happen to be listening to a brand new album, so I'm guessing it's review time?

1:08AM

I've been using the same old napkin as a bookmark for months now.
It's got nothing on it, but holds a memory of you, somehow.
You don't seem to care anymore unless the skies change from grey to blue,
and it is very tiring although nothing new.
I'm trying to forget now, nothing seems to help.
I miss the fascinated look on your face when I taught you how life was meant to be held.
The world on my fingertips whenever I lay next to you,
how powerful I was, you really don't have a clue.
"You are my favourite colour," I said, you looked at me with a smirk.
I miss your eyes, your smell and your smile as well as your touch, your hair and your words. 

It's been a while since I last posted, but I promised myself I'd continue this blog until the end of the year at least, so here I am alive, sitting in bed coffee in hand and a mess of a mind. So many things have happened in the last few days, some extremely good, some not so much, but overall I am so happy right now. I got to see and properly talk to some of my favourite humans after months and months, had conversations that helped me make decisions and learned a lot about both myself and my friends. I have seen myself involved in situations I would much rather not be in but hey, the important thing is that, even if we all somehow fucked up, everything is sorted now.
Also, I met some lovely people I hope I will have the chance to continue to see regularly in the future.

There is not that much of a point on this post other than to remind myself everything will eventually be okay, no matter how bad it looks, and to never give up, because, whenever you least expect it, the best things will happen.

Much love,
Vanessa xx