1:08AM

I've been using the same old napkin as a bookmark for months now.
It's got nothing on it, but holds a memory of you, somehow.
You don't seem to care anymore unless the skies change from grey to blue,
and it is very tiring although nothing new.
I'm trying to forget now, nothing seems to help.
I miss the fascinated look on your face when I taught you how life was meant to be held.
The world on my fingertips whenever I lay next to you,
how powerful I was, you really don't have a clue.
"You are my favourite colour," I said, you looked at me with a smirk.
I miss your eyes, your smell and your smile as well as your touch, your hair and your words. 

It's been a while since I last posted, but I promised myself I'd continue this blog until the end of the year at least, so here I am alive, sitting in bed coffee in hand and a mess of a mind. So many things have happened in the last few days, some extremely good, some not so much, but overall I am so happy right now. I got to see and properly talk to some of my favourite humans after months and months, had conversations that helped me make decisions and learned a lot about both myself and my friends. I have seen myself involved in situations I would much rather not be in but hey, the important thing is that, even if we all somehow fucked up, everything is sorted now.
Also, I met some lovely people I hope I will have the chance to continue to see regularly in the future.

There is not that much of a point on this post other than to remind myself everything will eventually be okay, no matter how bad it looks, and to never give up, because, whenever you least expect it, the best things will happen.

Much love,
Vanessa xx